Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Too much on my mind.



Good Morning Monday! The kids are up without too much trouble even though it is only day 4 in the new school year. There are a lot of things to remember each day but they have already caught on to the routine.

We have even started to fine tune the time of departure in the morning for the bus. The trip takes a lot less time than I had originally calculated. They seem like old pros waiting for the bus and getting on and off. I am impressed with their resilience and adaptability.

Impressed much less with my own. I think I can do more than I really can. This was clearly evident when around 9:30 today I noticed that my sweater was on backwards and I already been out in public for almost 2 hours.  It was a v neck light sweater. YEP - no fashion sense and not so much looking in the mirror for me before I go out the door. (I will need to remedy that in the coming days and weeks)

Too many things still left undone from the life before cancer. I mean things that I am obligated to do but have not had the strength to tackle yet. The clock is ticking and I must get them done. Will need a plan.

I have been concentrated on fighting the cancer battle for the last 8 months and sprinkled in was a bit of life changing events including Eric getting diabetes. It has been focus, focus, focus.

There hasn't been so much time for me to just concentrate on myself. The time has finally come for a few days away for me to just focus on me. Of course before I go, I have typed up the instruction list for Peter. I am going to let go and focus on me.

My hair is getting thicker and some places on my head are growing faster than others, like for example around my ears. WHY is that so? It is annoying to be in the in-between stage but its a good annoying. It might be time for a trim.

So excited that a few friends have already booked flights to come and visit us.


I am lucky to get away. It is definitely good for my sanity to take a break and just be in the here and now. Flying alone is like flying first class.

Yesterday Nikki sent me the fantastic words that Meryl Streep has said she lives by :

“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.” 

I would love to meet and have lunch with Meryl Streep. Maybe one day it will happen. I saw Colin Firth a few days ago walking on the high road and we made intense eye contact with each other. You just never know, it could just happen, Meryl and I eating lunch........

(Itunes keeps track of how many times each song is played. Tonight I saw that BRAVE by Sara Bareilles has been played over 850 times. Definitely my fight song!)



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