Parallel Universe

2014.05.11

The last few days have been a blur but I need to write about them so I can let go and also so I can appreciate all that I have gone through when I come back and read this in 6 months.

Thursday, May 8th

The entire day was spent in the hospital in the intensive care unit as they worked on getting Eric's body back into its proper state. It wasn't until the late afternoon that he showed a dramatic improvement. Tuesday and Wednesday he was like a zombie- no energy and barely talking. I must say that the staff in this unit are fantastic. Just amazing how well they take care of him and us. By the late evening, the doctors thought that his values had stabilized enough to move him to the regular ward. It was a relief. All the nurses came and gave us hugs. We sure were a sight - the mom with cancer and a clump foot and the dad that arrived from London in the middle of the night.

I am working off of the adrenaline and I have tons of energy. The only focus is to remember to take my medicine three times a day and that Eric is getting better. Good thing my sister was here to give support and to make food for the other two kids at home.

Friday, May 9th

What a day! The only available appointment at the orthopedics was at 8:30 am which meant braving "rush hour" traffic on E4. Two nurses take me and my sister to the examination room and are going to remove the bandage. I inform them that I do not want to see it at all and promptly turn my head away and close my eyes. I am just not ready. It hurt a bit when they took off the bandage and I cried just because of all the pent up pissed off feelings about having to go through this shit - and they needed to be released somewhere- crying is always good.  The doctor came in and said the infection was gone and that it all looked good. My sister was so lucky to be able to see and experience all of this.

Not looking......a little bit of pain never hurt...

Enjoying her visit to Sweden

Right after that it was time to hobble over to the children's hospital building to go through the Diabetes training that is mandatory for us parents and for Eric before he can go home. Then we had a private review with the head Diabetes doctor about Eric. Again- thankful for all the scientists and researchers that have studied this disease and make it into a livable condition.

First time out of bed in almost 3 days!

I needed to have a break- so my sister and I went into town and ate lunch at a nice restaurant. I felt bad that her only perspective of Sweden has been a half day visit to Gamla Stan and then the rest of the time spent in different wards in the different hospitals either for me or for Eric. It was good to be normal for an hour.

Then we headed back to the hospital and I switched with Peter so he could go home for a few hours and then come back and sleep over. Eric is sharing a room with another boy that got Diabetes the day before him. They are sharing this experience together. Awesome! That evening Eric was disconnected from all the drops and could finally change his shirt that he had been wearing since Tuesday and had puked on. That was a good sign. He also took his first insulin shot. What a brave and accepting kid! I got home at 10 pm that night and finally fell asleep at midnight.

Eric's first real meal. Yippie!

Saturday, May 10th

Wow, slept until 8:30 am. I think I needed that. I am exhausted but I only feel it the few minutes I sit down each day. I am worried that I won't be able to stand up again, but I always do. My sister and I drove down to Gnesta to pick up the newly covered dining room chairs. It was good again to get away from the hospital routine and to check one thing off my list which is getting longer but with less days to complete it. A challenge to say the least.

On our way back we were hungry and stopped at Burger King. I took a coca-cola for the first time in 3 months. It tasted really different now and not as appealing as it was before. Hopefully, I have been cured of the need to drink that empty calorie drink for good.

Aunt Kris saying good bye to Eric.

I relieved Peter and stayed at the hospital until 6 p.m.. Eric is taking his own shots, counting his carbs and maintaining his great attitude. His easy acceptance of all of this has floored me! I am speechless.

Went home and picked up my sister and the two older boys so we could try a new restaurant in town. The company and laughs during dinner were great, unfortunately the food and service could have been better but we had fun anyway.

Home in time to see the Eurovision Song Contest and let my sister really experience a one of a kind show and another perspective of Europe. Sweden came third - good work Sweden. Sleep finally came at almost 2 am- every time I closed my eyes, I just imagined what they had done to my toe. Eventually- I dozed off.

Sunday, May 11th -morning...

Awoke early so as to take my sister to the airport for her flight back. It was a quick week and a different view of Sweden that she experienced but I am grateful for all of her help. Now I have had my coffee and am preparing to head back to the hospital for the day. My toe is feeling better and I am going to make a list of what I need to do. Peter sent me a picture of the boys eating breakfast and I am happy that everything is headed in the right direction....one step at a time.

Boys eating breakfast!  

I write this blog for myself- that is and always will be my intention. But, I am so grateful for all of you who read it and then comment or send messages because that is what I read and refer to when I might be feeling down or need lifting up. Thank you to all of you who pick me up off the floor with your love and support! 

LOVED. GRATEFUL. AMAZING SON. KICKING EVERYONE'S ASS now. FAMILY. FRIENDS. CANCER SUCKS. LIFE IS GOOD.