Getting used to the new me.

2015.05.30

Well, it's been a few months since I have written on the blog. I have been trying to live my life to the fullest and at the same time learning about the new me and adapting to everything around me. It has made it a little crazy. I have also turned 50. I had a fantastic party and celebration.

This past Thursday was a year since my last chemo. Yesterday was a year since the movers came and packed up our stuff for our move to London. What a year it has been.

Flowers for my birthday....

I have done absolutely amazing, fantastic things in the last year since the suitcases have been packed up. I made made new friends in a new city, made lifelong friends in the new city, experienced things throughout Europe. I have really taken the time to enjoy life even though simmering in the background is the fact that I can't do the things I used to do and I am a different person. My attention span is terrible. I can't concentrate to get all my work done. So the happiness and the joy is always balanced out by the frustration of the new reality. Luckily, family and friends make it possible for me to be more accepting of the new me and everything that life has to offer. I can't say that I have anything to complain about. I am not really a complainer. But, I do know that there is always room for improvement of the new me.

April meant seeing the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Races, getting the all clear on the 9-month check up at the Royal Marsden Hospital in London. Marcus turning 15. Sophie turning 6 and celebrating life.

April 2015 all clear after 9 months.......

I am just loving the experiences that I am having, the people that I am meeting and the great weather in London.

I am really good at delaying getting anything off my list completed. I would much rather meet friends or go for a walk with Sophie in the park. June 1st is the start of a month of getting on track again and getting to the point of enjoying life without something hanging over my head undone. I have started to read the book by Marie Kondo called "The Life-changing Magic of Tidying". Clear out the clutter and live the life that I dream of. Totally enjoying reading it and looking forward to putting it into practice. It is almost a must here as the houses are so small compared to what we are used to.

Good Friends make loving life easy!

That's a lot of candles!

Celebrating with the London gang on the actual day...

My 50th birthday celebration was exactly what I needed. It was celebrated with people that mean a lot to me and we just enjoyed each other's company. It was a fantastic weekend. Marie and John came from the USA. Mia, Åke, Eva-Karin, Göte, Helena, Petra, Martin, Annica, Stina and Alex came from Sweden. All my London friends joined in too. I feel that my friends have also taken a look at their lives and now enjoy celebrating all of the great times in their lives too. My motto BE BRAVE LOVE LIFE and I got bracelets made for all those that attended this amazing day. It's just a reminder that Life is pretty great when we think about it.

Mia, Helena, Me and Eva-Karin

Mia and I

Stina and I

Annica, Petra and I

I had a fantastic girl's weekend in Stockholm a few weeks later showing the London girls around. Mia joined us the first night and shared some of those typical Swedish customs that I had forgotten. I am so lucky to have Mia as my friend. I am so lucky to have all my friends.

Last weekend was a long weekend in the UK so 29 of us Londoners went to Wales and rented a big ol' house by the sea and had the most fabulous time ever. Memories for life!

S'mores at the Waterwynch House

Domino and 

To each and every one of you!

So, the new me is ok. I do what I can. Try and not get too irritated over what I can't do. I take every opportunity to BE BRAVE and LOVE LIFE each and every day. (still trying to figure out if I am going to get a tattoo.....)

FRIENDS. FAMILY. LOVED. 
KICKED CANCER'S BUTT. 
WALES. STOCKHOLM. LONDON.
BE BRAVE. LOVE LIFE.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY

2015.02.15

SUNDAY

It has been exactly one year today that I looked in the mirror and saw that my neck looked funny. That is a moment that I will not ever forget. It meant that the following five days were tests, questions and then a diagnosis on the 20th. holy crap.

I still remember that feeling of disbelief as Mia and I walked out of the doctor's office. I was cursing and in shock. How I managed to get through it all the way to today is really a mystery to me. I had no choice really because I love life too much to do anything else but fight it (that darn cancer).

To celebrate life and because I am in remission, we are heading this afternoon to a warmer climate with some sun, beach and relaxation. It is a well deserved time for me and the rest of the family. I really need to recharge my batteries and just enjoy myself. Going to make some happy memories.

There is a spa at the resort and I have already decided that I am going to do a different treatment each day, just because I am worth it.

The days before a trip always result in me trying to think of everything and then pack for all possibilities for all of us. This time a round I am still trying to think of everything but I am sure that I have forgotten something. (even though I have made numerous lists and then forgotten where I put them) I am exhausted but can breathe out once we have checked the luggage in and are sitting on the plane.

This year compared to last year:

I put myself first now.
I try to simplify everything I do.
I appreciate everything I see, every chance meeting I make, every raindrop and rainbow.
I look in the mirror.
I feel confident enough to cast away that niggling feeling that the cancer is going to come back and
I just enjoy life each day.
My definition of "enjoying life" has changed since last year.
I take selfies. (and I think it's fun too)
I exercise often, eat well and have cut out almost all processed foods.
I only hang out with people that give me energy.
I have some scars on the outside that add to my character.
I still believe I can do anything as long as I set my mind to it.
I appreciate all the doctors and nurses who cared and all the scientists who researched R-CHOP.
I feel thankful and overwhelmed by all the people in my life.

The new me is still taking some getting used to by me, by Peter and by everyone else. (It's harder for them than it is for me.)

365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months, many tears but oh so much more laughter during this time.

Now it is time for sun, sand, spa and just relaxation.

LOVED. GRATEFUL. FAMILY. FRIENDS. KICKED CANCER'S ASS. LOVING LIFE. LIVING LIFE. 

STRONG WOMEN

2014.11.24

Monday morning dawns cold and chilly here in London. I slept soundly last night my husband informs me this morning as I wake up almost an hour later than usual....

I feel refreshed and have new energy and a better outlook on life.

WHY?

I just spent my weekend with 6 other women in Lisbon on a "Girl's weekend away."

The girls at Heathrow.

We flew first class. (It felt that way to us because we didn't have the kids with us and only had to worry about our own luggage and passports.)

We ate gourmet food. (There were no fast food restaurants on our horizon.)

We stayed in a hotel fit for a King or Queen. (The hotel let us use a fantastic room for our after party at 3 am....)

We shopped. (We could browse and buy at our own pace.)

We laughed and enjoyed each other's company. (In each and every activity we participated in...)

We all brought our individual personalities to the table and made a compelling picture walking down the street in our matching scarves.

We were a force to be reckoned with.

Many large buildings are painted with murals. Brilliant!

I met these other moms at the school just three months ago and now I have friends for life.

Tram on the streets of Lisbon

Beautiful tiles cover the outside of some buildings

View from our hotel room.

A diverse group of women. Three Americans, One Dutch, One Australian, One Columbian and a Brazilian.....sounds almost like the beginning to a good joke but we share many similarities and our differences make this a fascinating dynamic in our group. If the world could have half as much teamwork and fun as we had then the world would be a perfect place.

Friday morning and after dropping the kids off at school, we head to the airport. The excitement is in the air. A chance to do just what we want and leave some of our responsibilities behind is a necessary ingredient so we can "charge our batteries". The daily routine of being a wife and mom ...........could always do with some new energy just because we put everything we have into that and it can sometimes take more energy than we have.

All checked in and through security, we board the plane and make a grand entrance as we ask the stewardess if its ok to move further back in the plane so we can all sit near each other and "party". We didn't want to bother anyone.....  (I am leaving out the story of the less than perfect experience with an airport restaurant..(The Perfectionist) when ordering and eating my salad.....)

We landed and all cleared immigration and customs and were met by the limo driver.  (OK, it was a large passenger van but it felt like a limo because he took our luggage for us and then held the door open for us as we got in.)

Arrived at this most fantastic hotel called Hotel Avenida Palace. WOW. We were treated like royalty and shown to our rooms with our luggage being delivered to us shortly thereafter.

Beautiful room in our hotel, also sight of our late night after party......

I so thoroughly enjoyed the fact that I was along for the ride. Cris had scoped out places to eat and we were amazed with each of the places.

A fantastic foodie market was our first destination for some drink and light tapas before dinner a lot later on. LOVED IT. I TRIED A FEW NEW THINGS.

Mercado Ribeira. YUM YUM

We changed for dinner and took a cab to a fantastic tapas restaurant. Wine, good food, great company and lots and lots of laughs. PERFECT.

Saturday morning breakfast we were treated like royalty in the fantastic breakfast room. Filling up with much needed energy food and water to replenish we were ready to tackle the first activity of the day.

We took a tram to Torre de Belem. Built on the northern bank of the Tagus between 1514 and 1520 as part of the Tagus estuary defence system, the Tower of Belém is one of the architectural jewels of the reign of Manuel I.

Torre de Belem

Torre de Belem

2nd floor of Torre de Belem

It was beautiful and sunny day as we took in this amazing sight. Then we headed to Lisbon's best place for the typical Portuguese pastry which was absolutely divine. It is called Pasteis de Belem. They make and serve more than 20,000 of these pastries every day. 

Then it was an afternoon of shopping, browsing, some went to the spa and just taking in all the sights and enjoying each others company. 

I was tired by the end of the day as this was a lot of activity for me but thankfully I wasn't exhausted. That is definitely an improvement from just last month. 

Thankfully we had time to take a nap and rest before the big slate of Saturday night activities.  Our limo took us to the restaurant called Cantinho Do Avillez. (A very, very good looking chef who founded this restaurant- he made sure that he hired equally attractive waiters..enough said) (OK- It was just a taxi but it felt like a limo.)

These are the actual items that the chef played with in his Grandma's kitchen when he was growing up.

Magical evening with great food, pretty good singing and a lot of laughing continued when we went to a night club to pass the time until the real party started at the dance club. The night club had the first room as the smoking room which you had to pass through to get to the bar and the rest of the club which was full. We hung out at the bar watching the DJ (in a striped orange 70's style sweater) playing non-commercial music. What the heck is non-commercial music? I took my phone and my play list up to him and said "hey can you play something from Swedish House Mafia?" His reply was that he only plays his own music (which was from a different planet and not conducive to dancing for us.) I need to say that he had grey hair and that the sweater was in fashion when he was 20 years old back in the 70's. Thank god for each other and the big bottle of champagne (or was it wine?). 

OK, now it was time to head over to Lisbon's hippest dance club called Lux. I LOVE CHAMPAGNE. The others danced. I LAUGHED. We laughed and enjoyed the atmosphere.

Enjoying some champagne at the end of the evening!

Back to the hotel and it was after party time. PERFECT.

Breakfast after only a few hours of sleep never tasted so good. Laughing at breakfast and I saw many of the other hotel guests who were jealous of how much fun we were having. Checked out of the hotel and off to explore the city again before heading to the airport and the journey back to reality. 

Thanks Avery, Cris, Charmian, Michele, Zulma and Gena. GRATEFUL.

Why are we strong women? 

We made time for ourselves this weekend and just enjoyed each and every minute "living in the here and now."

We gave ourselves a new perspective on life. I charged my batteries because I was able to leave that yoke of responsibility for the family at home and finally just relax and recharge. I got to see a new city. It is easier to appreciate all the people and family that I have in my life when I can get a "break" from them.

They had missed me a little bit when I came home. Luckily, we fell back into the morning routine and they all made it to school this morning.

Time for the gym......
Then to start planning the next girl's weekend for the Spring....


LOVED. GRATEFUL. FRIENDS. LAUGHTER. CAMARADERIE. ME TIME. CHAMPAGNE.