Sunday, November 22, 2015

the GUT

November 22, 2015


GUT feelings

Sophie
Life as a dog owner
Joys of Life
House buying in the UK
My own body’s GUT
FRIENDS

These words and thoughts and gut feelings have been going on in my head for the past few months and finally I will attempt to put them in some coherent form.




SOPHIE

The first few days after her diagnosis left me numb. I cried more in those first 5 days then I did during the whole time of my cancer treatment. WHY? The week after her diagnosis, the Vet called and said its not lymphoma but a soft-tissue sarcoma that might give her 6 months more to live. Treatment options were no guarantee and would just delay the inevitable. Guilt mixed with reality and living life creates havoc in my head. Sophie is the best dog ever. Her tail wags, she does her best and at times seems like she is in denial about the fact the tumor is now growing at a quick rate. She looks at me with those eyes and I try and understand her and separate my anxiety out of the equation. In the last few weeks the tumor seems to be taking growth hormones. I balance living everyday to the fullest with pacing her and myself in our activities.




Bucket list items completed:
  • Dip my paws in the English Channel
  • Walk along the Cliffs of Dover
  • Eat popcorn
  • Run in Hyde Park
  • Catch the squirrel in the park (almost done)
  • Family portraits (thanks Sarah and Corey)
  • Get lucky with getting my favorite table food (cheese, chicken, fish)
Sophie and Domino along the English Channel
Left to do:
  • Dip my paws in the Thames
  • Sleep in Mommy's bed


LIFE AS A DOG OWNER

Walking with your dog means that others engage with you or your dog. It means that you have conversations with people you might never have met otherwise.

Everyday you have to walk the dog and get out there. Without a dog there is not as much exercise or interaction with others.

I can’t see us ever getting another dog for a couple of reasons. (a next dog would never be as good as Sophie…)

It makes me sad to thing that part of my life would be over but it just doubles my determination to make each day that we have together now to mean something.

My gut feeling is that Sophie won’t make it as long as the Vet as predicted and that makes me sad.

JOYS OF LIFE

In simple terms: Loving the life you live. 

If not loving it, only I can change it. 

Peter was fantastic this year as he rode in the Bloodwise 4 day; 500 km ride from London to Paris and raised over £3000. He trained like a dedicated person and now the cycling bug has bitten him. (Do we have enough Lycra in the house?)


I was moved by the experience (a little jealous of the camaraderie) and standing at the finish line and needed a new challenge.  I’ve decided to do next year’s edition of the London to Paris bike ride along with Peter and 6 of my friends. (Holy crap, I can’t believe I have signed up. The race starts September 15, 2016)


HOUSE BUYING IN THE UK

This should be under CHALLENGES….

We are enduring this unnecessarily complicated house buying process and backed out of the first two-attempted house purchases because the GUT FEELING wasn’t right no matter how much I tried to convince myself that it was and went through the process almost to the end. Luckily, the estate agent was a jerk, so after three months of trying to get the answers to our questions, the decision to back out was as clear as day. (Not to mention the mortgage process, solicitors, conveyance and building surveys)
We backed out on a Thursday and I looked at 3 new houses on the Saturday. Luckily, I really fell in love with one of them and the estate agent for that house is amazing. My gut feeling for the new house is so totally YES. YES. YES. We exchanged contracts last week and move in January.

So, thank goodness, I went with my gut feeling. Don’t underestimate the gut feeling.

MY OWN BODY’S GUT

I really recommend the book The Gut by Giulia Enders. It tells in a straightforward manner how the gut and the microbes living there are so vital to our well-being. It is the future of medicine and possibly to understanding how many diseases can be cured or avoided.

From top to toe, I have many small issues throughout my body. I would really love a doctor to look at the big picture instead of just trying to fix one thing at a time.

Of course, everything that is different or not working now leads me to the inevitable thoughts of whether the cancer is back or it’s just me getting old. My friends here say just get it checked out but I am not really ready to know. I just want to live my life and love it at the same time.

Of course, I am ignoring my gut feeling on this matter. Not the right time.

FRIENDS

Blessed. Lucky. Grateful.

Blessed. Lucky. Grateful.

I am really at a loss for words to describe what these people mean to me. They are supportive, funny, smart, comforting, insightful and like to do fun things. What more can I ask for?  



HUG someone you love. 
Have a random conversation with a stranger on the street. 
Enjoy life. 
Love the Life you Live. 
BE BRAVE LOVE LIFE

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