Wednesday, June 24, 2015

A year survived...changes, friends, family


June is always a month of changes. The days are longer, the school year is ending, people moving. I have been so lucky this year to have been accepted into the new school community. My children have made friends in their classes and are happy campers. That is such a huge relief.

Taking the time to appreciate all the good things is a good exercise because then all those things that are stressing me become manageable.

Reflection on just how far I have come in the past year gets me teary eyed.
  • NO HAIR - Hair (that is slightly more curly than I would have liked)
  • Not so many visitors - LOTS AND LOTS OF VISITORS....and more to come....
  • LOT OF NEW TRAVEL EXPERIENCES in London and abroad 
It is now a year since I got the all clear from the doctor.
My energy is returning, I think, but I need to really balance it with living life now.
A few weeks ago, I tested that energy level to the max and I realized I might have been overdoing it. Why????? Because I can see that I don't really know how much time is left and I want to make sure I am living life to the fullest each and every day.

In the space of a week, I was out every night, doing something every day and not resting at all. By day 7, I was really feeling the exhaustion. (I had laughed a lot, eaten a lot, drank a little, tried a lot of new things and saw a lot of new places) Then it hit me that I need to balance the "normal" daily life with all these exciting things too.

Each step of this journey of life means learning something new both about myself and my surroundings. Overwhelming to say the least.

June means that any expats that are leaving do so during this month. It makes you stop and think about all the fun times and looking forward to the next school year and that this will be different come September. This is sad. This year has been fantastic because of all the new people who took me in and accepted me and my family. It really has made the difference. Big thanks to Avery.....

Avery and I at Royal Ascot
Of course, all that good stuff is logically (?) balanced with the underlying fears that I am pretty sure everyone who has had cancer faces: RELAPSE.    

This feeling of what if.....creeps into the quiet moments (thus easier to be busy all the time). I have some changes to my body that worry me and of course when you google you can make it be the worst case scenario. Are the changes the result of the cancer, the result of the chemo, the result of a relapse, the result of too much exercise or just the result of getting older?  Do I want to call the doctor now or wait until my appointment in August?  

I just want to live my life. No more complications. Let me get used to the new me. Is that too much to ask?


No comments:

Post a Comment