(10 years after cancer) An appreciation post for the journey called life.

I’m alive. 

(Turn Sia’s song to highest volume and on repeat to get your day going today.)

Life is for living. 

Every day is your life. 

Make the most of each day. 

Revel in the glimmers. 

Handle the lows. 

Be kind.

Each minute is a possibility to a new experience, 

a shared experience, 

something to learn 

or maybe something to laugh about.

Be Curious not judgemental.

This is me.

I have a sunny (mostly), realistic attitude trying* to manifest my dreams.

(*damn sure I will succeed)

TEN YEARS is 3,653 days since I heard the words “You have cancer”

It is 21,481 days on this earth for me today. It is 1,481 days since I had my 20,000 days old party. I could go on but, really I only think of these days during the middle of February for the diagnosis and the end of June every year when treatment was finished. All the other days I am just living my life according to the above guidelines/lifelines.

10 years with

FRIENDS and FAMILY

EXPERIENCES

TRAVEL

MOMENTS

MUSIC

NATURE

GRATITUDE

All the joy that I have from the combination of the these things is overwhelming.

I think I have kind of Marie Kondo’d anything that hasn’t brought me joy. It is so freeing to do things or be with people who bring you joy. Anything else is a life less lived.

FRIENDS- I will say that if I am lucky enough to be your friend, Thank you for being you, I am a better person for it. I appreciate each and every one of you. As Alfred Lord Tennyson said “I am part of all that I’ve met.”

EXPERIENCES, TRAVEL, MOMENTS, MUSIC, NATURE - all the possible variations to share with friends. The essence of life for me. I have really embraced this in the last 10 years and especially in the last 4 years during and after covid. 

Here is the current list of the best:

A year of P!nk concerts. Four (or was it 5?) concerts in 3 different countries

Project manager for house renovations twice, but the current one is the best one ever on so many levels.

Raising money for Blood Cancer in the UK by riding my bicycle from London to Paris with 4 friends and 200 other people (who became friends after that trip). 

Europe favourite trips: Tuscany and cycling, Milano with friends, Southern Spain, Barcelona loving Gaudi, Lisbon shots with the girls, The Netherlands…too much to say, Paris parties and Versailles with the fam, Girl’s weekends in Berlin, Madrid, Lisbon, Amsterdam, Stockholm and Taos. Epic weekend in Tenby with 28 friends.

Exploring Colombia: Bogota, Cartagena and Armenia. Lucky to do this twice!!!!

Islands are in my blood: Long Island, NY; Manhattan, Isle of Skye (with a dog and a puppy) and the Outer Hebrides in my teardrop, Menorca which just feels right and the volcanic island of Iceland to witness an erupting volcano in person.

USA or Sweden for the holidays to spend the quality time with family. Always a priority for us as a family.

Oh yeah, I forgot to say moving to the UK 10 years ago right after treatment was finished was life changing. London also feels like home. 

My newfound interest for Women’s football in the UK happened when the Lionesses won the EUROs of 2022 and then I became an Arsenal fan which then led me to the coolest experience of 2023. Almost a month in Australia for the Women’s world cup was a dream come true on so many levels. Being there live in the stadiums for the round of 16, quarter-finals, semi-finals and the Final. PRICELESS.

Chasing Sunrises and Sunsets gives me so much joy to witness nature do it’s magnificent thing.

Incredible women making beautiful music with songs that talk to the heart (P!nk, Sia, Miley Cyrus, Kelly Clarkson and Sara Bareilles, among others). They are healing, uplifting, empowering songs that are on repeat.

Improving my Spanish is so fulfilling because to know the people and their culture you need to speak their language. I even made a joke in Spanish today. ;-)

A golden thread, the never ending beauty of a sunset, winds through my life as all of these experiences of living life are with the people you care for most. Just that in it self brings a smile to my face.

I get the positive energy and re-charge my batteries from being with friends and sharing life experiences with them. I aim to reciprocate and give energy by listening or telling a joke to make you smile.

Grateful for each day. 

BE. BRAVE. LOVE. LIFE.

Surreal but nice....

2014.02.22

One of my favorite movies is Notting Hill with so many classic lines like  "Surreal but nice."  I have probably seen it 40 or 50 times. I just downloaded it on to my iphone so I can watch it during down time in the hospital.

Surreal but nice. Still feels a bit like it is someone else that has to go through all this shit, even though I know it is me who will do it. The nice part in a very melancholy sort of way is that the outpouring of support and meeting up with my friends has been amazing. It is sad that it takes something like this for all of us to take a step back and see what is important in life. "Our family and friends"

So when thinking about what fantastic friends I have and people who don't even know me that well, that want to lend a hand and help me get through this... it has been a crying type of day. The crying is good because it helps relieve all the tension in my brain and my body which is really tense and starting to hurt. Being loved makes me cry but oh so grateful to be loved!

I get energy and confidence from talking with my friends. Somehow they always know the right thing to say and do. Love all of you! Many have sent me quotes that are spot on and just what I needed.

How fun is it to be really sick and not understand all the words of this new sickness? The doctors are talking Swedish with cancer words in Swedish. I am thinking in English. Some of those words in Swedish are really hard. Cytostatika = Chemotherapy. 

My modus operandi is to plan. I can only plan for what I know. So, how does my plan look? I have purchased 2 journals. One to keep track of what the doctors say and tests they have performed along with the results. I have titled it "Kicking Cancer's Ass."  The other journal will be where I keep all the well wishes and quotes and things that my friends have said that are important to me. That book is titled "Secrets to kicking cancer's ass".

I have purchased a new backpack to carry these books, plus my headphones, a fleece jacket (very stylish, I might add) and anything else that might be needed. It gives me comfort to plan all the things that I can control. All those things I can't control well, I will have to go with the flow!

Peter heads back to London tomorrow to try and get some work done. This will be a challenge for all of us to adapt to the next few months as we move from the house and move to a new country! It will work because it has to. Just like I have to go through this to come out Stronger on the other side.

My fight song today, which I put on repeat on my iphone is Stronger by Kelly Clarkson.