Hot in the House.....

July 21-July 24

It has been a hot hot week in Stockholm. Practically no houses have air-conditioning here. Ours doesn’t.  It is then important to have many doors and windows open and hope for a breeze to blow through.  It is an added dimension to a good summer here.

The hot weather means everything is slower. The kids move slower. The wasps move slower. The dog moves slower. And I was already moving slower so now I am almost at a standstill.

I have so much to do and no energy to do it so I just do one thing on the list and try to forget about everything else.  That is easier said than done. That is the issue with the move -the uneasy feeling that there are too many loose ends that only I can fix.

I am doing the bare minimum while trying to recover from the cancer treatments that have taken a toll on my physically and now even mentally. Yesterday speaking with Madeleine, she made a good point about the recovery from cancer.

“It is like your body and your mind are on two different journeys”

The body is cancer free and is healing itself from the side effects.  The mind is thinking of all sorts of things and working through the unbelievable occurrence of getting cancer and the routine of the treatments to get rid of it . And then wondering if it is really gone to worrying that if it is gone that it will come back. There is very little respite from these thoughts.

As I was driving today I realized that I haven’t said thank you to all of the people that have sent words of encouragement and been there for me.

Here is the list (not in any specific order)

Thank you Mia, Peter, Kevin, Marcus, Eric, Nikki, Nicole, Kris, Mike, Dan, Jen, Mom, Dad, Ann, Charlotte, Maria, Annica, Stina, Gunilla, Marie, Dale, Sarah, Pearl, Petra B., Marie-Claire, Anna H., Ellinor, Maggan, Helena, Åse, Katherine, Melissa, Katja, Petra J., Petra H., Erika, Donna, Inga-lill, Joni, Bridget, Carla M., Carla P., Marianne, Robin, Molly, Mary, Clara, Terry, Colleen, Ulrika, Sofie, Ingrid, Karin, Lena, Åsa, Doreen, Liz, Angelika, Kicki, Anna, Silvia, Kim, Stacy, Dawn, Annelie, Maria, Gey, Reinhold, Evy, Putte, Ida, Kerstin, Mikaela, Eva, Kenneth, Nina, Catharina, Jessica, Hans, Johanna, Victoria, Emma, Zennie, Aiga, Sol, Emma, Elspeth, Sally, Silvia, Emma, Hajar, Jennie, Nisha, Michelle, Jacqueline, Amanda, Tina, Hema, Rebecca, Yingje, Jennifer, Tamara, Erika, Elisabeth, Gillian, Hagit, Victoria, Terri, Claire, Barbara, Aarthi, Grainne, Elaine, Harry, Eila, Irre, SL, Marisa, Stefan, Suzanne, Henric, Anett, Micke P., Mikael, Annika, Eileen, Jackson, Ashley, Katelyn, Katarina, Doris, Julie, Penny, Amy, Lisa, Peo, Lisa, Eva-Karin, Göte, Oskar, Erik, Frida, Anna, Anton,  Åke, Susan, Dianna, Debora, Natalie, Danny, Tammy, Helen, Ulrica, Jenny, Anders, Patrik, Thomas, Veronica, Rocky, Cia, Shelly and I am sure that I have missed many more.

I am BLESSED to have so many people in my life that care.

It is still hot here as evening approaches. We are almost done packing for the adventure that really starts tomorrow.

LOVED. BLESSED. GRATEFUL. EXCITEMENT. ADVENTURE. 

BE BRAVE. LOVE LIFE.

Back in Sunny Sweden........

July 12-20, 2014

SATURDAY AND SUNDAY

These were our last two days in the USA. We hung out with the cousins and did some last minute visits to our favorite stores. Tried to organize some activities for the kids but they were tired after all the traveling and just wanted to hang with their cousins.

My usual problem with having too many pieces of luggage going back did not happen this time. We didn’t buy enough stuff to warrant excess baggage. That is a first!

I am feeling tired but not exhausted. It is sad to leave Mike and Nicole’s house and not know the next time we will see them.

MONDAY

We woke up early to say goodbye to the cousins. It has been a great time. The packing the car after closing the suitcases and weighing them is always the most stressful step of leaving the house.

I am like a crazy camp counselor and no one should get in my way. The only difference now is that I am visibly tired and less tolerant to any delays. Once we have checked in our luggage, I can usually relax a little bit. 

After check-in off our luggage, we say goodbye to Peter who was flying later on that day directly to London. Our flight to Sweden via Chicago went well. The boys are seasoned travelers and SAS has games and movies in the seat backs so they are pre-occupied with that. The trip East is always harder to make because it is not as easy to sleep on those flights. So, effectively we lose nights sleep. Not so good in my case.

TUESDAY

Arrive early morning to Stockholm. Get the car from long-term parking and drive home. Feeling tired, as it is actually the middle of the night in the USA.

Got home and told the kids – ok we are only going to sleep for a max of 2 hours…yes-6 hours later I woke up. JETLAG makes our days longer and stranger.

Don’t feel like doing anything today except sleeping even though the suitcases are strewn all over the floor and it is an obstacle course to get from one room to another. I dislike when things are not in their place.

WEDNESDAY

Today we got Marcus Swedish passport renewed, ate lunch, went past the storage unit to pick up some stuff, and went past Gunilla’s house to pick up our mail and back to the summerhouse.

Forced to unpack the suitcases as best I could and make some food for the kids. Then none of us could sleep until after 2 a.m.

THURSDAY

The fun task of going through all the mail and paying all the bills that keep accumulating. It took the whole day to go through the mail and get everything sorted. Not one of my favorite tasks.  

Yes, the kids still need to eat. Good thing they are happy to get any type of food and let it be a break from their screen time.

FRIDAY

A little sad today cause I lost track of the days and thought it was still Thursday. We should have been going to Gotland this weekend to visit Ann and Hans but my strength was just not there to make the trip. I wish I could have teleported myself there and really taken advantage of living in the here and now.

Instead, I had more unpacking and laundry to do. It has been a hassle to get the kids up this week. Marcus sleeps until lunchtime unless his cousin has come over to wake him up and spend some time with him and his Grandfather on the boat. Glad they are getting out a little bit.

Eric was to play with his best friend and we decided to make it a good time and eat dinner at their house and then when Peter arrived from London he would drive us all home. Stina and Alex are two good friends that we really appreciate. We sure do laugh a lot. I can’t wait for them to visit us in London.

We had a great time at dinner but Peter kept calling from the airport and updating us on how delayed the plane was and finally how it was delayed until Saturday morning.  A bummer.  (Especially cause I couldn’t drink now that I had to drive home)

SATURDAY

Woke up and got a text from Peter that he was at the airport early and was booked on a flight that would get him home around 3 pm.   Well, just two hours later he calls and says the flight is cancelled and I needed to book him on another flight.

OF COURSE, I can. I booked him on a 1 pm flight from Heathrow so he enjoyed his taxi ride from Gatwick to Heathrow. Of course, that flight was also delayed so he finally made it home around 6:30 pm- almost 24 hours after he should have been here. Felt bad for him, as he is only home for less than 24 hours.

Stina and Alex were here to pick up Ville and eat dinner with Peter and me. It ended up being good that we could enjoy a few hours of their company and the kids had a great time.  SO FUN THEY WERE HERE.

SUNDAY

Peter slept late and then had the enviable task of mowing the lawn after it has grown for a month. Not the easiest and quickest task. He did it well and then he showered just in time for his parents visit for lunch to say goodbye to him.

We enjoyed their company and then it was time for him to pack his bag and head back to the airport.  

There was not enough time to get everything done, but that seems to be the common thread here for the last six or seven months.

WHEN WILL WE HAVE TIME? 

I have begun to realize that time is what you make of it, and I can only do so much.  It is frustrating but I am trying not to use the the little energy I have on being down but just concentrating on getting something done every day and being happy with that.

We drove him so we could have more time with him. He is really excited that we are coming next week. This has been his last weekend of commuting and it will be easier on all of us to be together.

So only a few days left here to get as much done as possible. I am pacing myself and due to chemo brain will probably not worry too much about it cause I can’t keep so many things in my head at the same time.

Ready for the next step and just need to get through this week and enjoy it at the same time.

Still LOVED, GRATEFUL, APPRECIATIVE and HAPPY.

Key West....and the rest of Florida

July 6-July 11, 2014

SUNDAY

We left the castle in Florida and took farewell of my parents, siblings and their children and headed on our journey even further south in Florida towards KEY WEST.

View from the back balcony. Not a bad way to spend a week.

Kevin outside the castle 

The drive down to the southernmost point in the continental USA was over many bridges and islands. It was a one-lane highway-road once we got past Miami. It was the Sunday at the end of a long holiday weekend in the USA. So, there was at least a 40 mile line of traffic heading north….thank goodness we were going the other way.

Past Miami and we finally get onto the famous Highway 1 to Key West

Peter gets to do all the driving. There are a couple of reasons for this. My eyes are still sensitive to light and I can’t wear contact lenses yet as my eyes have changed during the chemo. I am still tired and sitting behind the wheel is not safe for long periods of time. I am also the best one of us to keep the order in the back seats with the kids…….or try to anyway.

Key Largo......we drove past it 

It is a varied landscape from water, flat landscapes, hot weather, tourist shops and signs along the way and it wouldn’t be complete unless there was an afternoon lightning and thunder storm to drive through. I tortured the kids by playing KOKOMO by the Beach Boys as we drove through Key Largo and then putting it on repeat until they could name all of the cities mentioned in the song. Late afternoon, and it was a relief to pull up at our hotel and unload the luggage and get changed for dinner before we headed into the main streets of KEY WEST.

Henry Flagler built a railroad from Miami to Key West 128 miles long in the early 1900äs

The excitement of seeing new places is a strong force within me. I try and transfer this to my children. They know the routine. We are going to explore our new surroundings. The kids noticed first that there is a Starbucks in the lobby of our hotel. Can’t get better than that…..but it does….

We take the hotel shuttle to the middle of Key West and boy is it hot outside.  We walk along the waterfront exploring a little bit after being in the car all day. It felt good to stretch the legs.

We walked down Duval Street and found a fantastic Italian restaurant with great food, great service and air-conditioning. Dinner was enjoyed and it was time to head to Mallory Square to see the sunset.  As coincidence would have it – a friend that we knew in Charlotte was also in Mallory Square and we noticed this because of facebook- so we met up for a little bit before they went to eat dinner. Awesome Natalie, to see you and the kids!

A walk around and a chance to see all the street performers before we head back to the hotel to try and get some well rested sleep.

MONDAY

Breakfast at the hotel Starbucks was enjoyed by all of us. Time for head into town and learn a little more about Key West. We walked down Duval Street and explored a few of the side streets.  Tourist shops with fun t-shirts, many bars and tons of restaurants. We get tired fast in this hot climate.

Lunch was the Hard Rock Café right on Duval Street. Then the obligatory walk to the Southernmost point in the USA to stand in line and then get to take a picture of yourself standing in front of it. The boys were hot and so was I. Didn’t know that heads could sweat so much, felt worse as my peach fuzz is growing in a little thicker.

We headed back to the hotel so I could rest and the kids and Peter could be in the pool at the hotel. The heat had taken its toll on all of us. Of course, as is par for the course, just when I feel like getting my bathing suit on and swimming ---the afternoon thunderstorm starts….lightning…..not allowed in the pool.

We ate a simple dinner that night in the vicinity of our hotel and then went to the neighboring hotel to inquire about jet ski or boat rental for the next day. We were told to come back in the morning as it was so late. We all fell asleep easily that night.

TUESDAY

Today we have been married 19 years. Can’t believe it. We have been through so much and still love being around each other. Only 31 more years to achieve the same level as my parents.

Woke to sunshine and a plan to get lucky with the charter of a boat for a half-day excursion out into the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic. We really got lucky. We booked Sol Chaser Charters for a half day tour. It was just Captain Nik and us.

A totally memorable day. The Gulf side is very shallow in the miles closest to the keys. We saw dolphins, egrets, tons of other wildlife. Nik took us to a fantastic island with a great sandbar where we could swim. Paradise. 

I dipped my toes off the edge of the boat while the rest of them jumped in and walked/swam to shore. I am too scared to step on something and my big toe is not ready to be bitten by any fish yet.

We had the time of our lives and Nik was born and raised in Key West so we got inside information about everything possible.

The boys were happy after this trip. I thought it was fantastic too. Of course, with me as tour guide we had a schedule to keep in order to maximize every minute of our trip. 

So, a quick lunch and then time to head back into town to take a Conch train tour (sightseeing tram) around Key West to learn more about its history. 

It was hot, hot hot to sit on that open air tram. But, we did learn a lot about Key West.

We were so hot after that ride that we needed to stop at the world famous Sloppy Joe’s Bar where Ernest Hemingway hung out. Dinner today was a few daiquiris and some bar food as we sat on the bar stools and watched a World Cup Soccer game where Germany was scoring goal after goal……

We ended our last day in Key West with viewing the sunset and enjoying some large ice cream cones. It was a good day.

I try and ignore the side effects and how they affect me just because I don’t have enough time to dwell on them. It is hard to not think of them or the cancer as I am constantly reminded every time I look down at my toes in my open-toed shoes. Or when I look in the mirror and try and remember what it was like when I had long hair. Or when the lady at Starbucks asks me what type of cancer I had.

WEDNESDAY

A Day of TRAVEL.

Awoke early as it was time to check out and get on the road. It is a long drive back up the keys. Today’s drive is to Daytona Beach Shores. I have managed to book a good hotel right on the Atlantic Ocean with Ocean view. So the expectations are high.

It was a long day with driving and stopping for some shopping and lunch at the outlets. It was a typical afternoon drive when we hit the storms and had to drive with our hazards on while not being able to see out the windows unless there was some lightning. Luckily those storms pass so quickly that it is almost fun to drive through them.

We arrived at the hotel around 9 pm and checked in and just unpacked for the night and went to sleep. 

THURSDAY

Awoke early as the sunrise shined into our room so we could have a walk on the beach and the morning by the pool before we met Mike and Nikki and the kids so we could drive back to Charlotte in a caravan.

Good Morning Atlantic Ocean! 

The beach was beautiful and the morning walk I forced the kids and Peter on was appreciated by them…. The sand was smooth and soft on the feet. The boys had their suits on so them ran in the gentle waves and laughed and splashed each other as they ran past.

We then settled into the pool which was between the hotel and the ocean. I swam in the pool and did a few laps. It felt good. I stayed in the pool and the boys and Peter got the boogie boards and headed back into the ocean again.

Too soon and the morning had passed so we went up to the hotel room, changed our clothes and checked out.

It was time for the 8 hours of driving to Charlotte. Lunch and then we started off. My brother and his family were leaving from Orlando and finally caught up with us halfway into South Carolina. It was fun to have some quasi – company on the trip up.

 

We made it home to their house at 8 pm and I got changed and then Peter drove me to the old neighborhood for a ladies night out with the old neighborhood girls. It was a lot of fun to see them again. Many, many laughs this night as we reminisced about all the good times. These ladies helped to re-charge my batteries. They gave me energy. Peter was really nice and came and got me at midnight. Good Guy that he is.

FRIDAY

Peter felt the urge to shop today. Just he and I went to the big mall and walked around. He managed to buy some stuff for him with great ease. I for some reason did not find it so easy. It is really a combination of remembering how much crap and junk we have thrown out over the past few months as we prepared for the move and the fact that I had no energy and maybe not such a positive picture of myself in the mirror. It meant that nothing I tried on would look good. I just wasn’t in the mood.  Good thing a Starbucks coffee made the feelings bearable.

Back to Mike and Nikki’s house and we felt good. The kids had spent the day with their cousins. Life is good.

We are so lucky to be able to stay at Mike and Nikki’s house when we are in the US. It is like our second home and all the cousins have fun with each other. THANKS MIKE AND NICOLE.

Only a few days left in the USA until we head back to Europe.

I am tired but that is to be expected. It has been three weeks since I got the news that I am in remission. It still feels surreal that I had cancer, that I battled cancer and now that the cancer is gone. Really???????   The doubts linger that it is really gone….only the next few doctors appointments every three months will lessen those doubts.

I really need to take each day as a gift and do what I want to do and be with the people who give me energy. I need to plan a little more than one day at a time but live each day in the here and now.  I think I might set the alarm on my phone a few times each day as a reminder……..

50th Wedding Anniversary Week

2014.06.30 to 2014.07.05

My parents got married 50 years ago and this week all their kids and grandchildren are staying in a beautiful house in Florida. It sleeps all 22 of us. This is the first time we have all been together in a long time.

It has been a fun week.

My ambition levels are set low. I am tired but do a little bit each day. I want to do a lot but get tired so easily. It is frustrating but l am trying to not let it bother me. Many people think... Oh cancer free - now you are better......   Unfortunately all the darn side effects will take a year to disappear and only I have to live with them. I don't feel like explaining to everyone all my issues.

 

MONDAY

The first full day and we spent the time getting acquainted with the house, it's huge. During the week each of our families were responsible for one dinner for the rest of us. This means great dinners every night but only needing to prepare one night. A fun day with the cousins.

TUESDAY

It was Eric's birthday today. My youngest son turned 11. We celebrated at lunch with an ice cream cake for dessert and him being sung to by all his cousins.

Then the rest of the day was spent with getting ready for the evening ceremony for the renewal of their wedding vows and the wedding dinner. The priest arrived at 5pm and the ceremony started shortly thereafter my parents were repeating the words they said to each other 50 years ago.

The Happy Couple

A little crying and a little giggling but they made it through. The champagnes toast was followed by a sit down dinner and sharing the memories. Then the wedding cake was served and the dancing followed.

Looking at their 50th Anniversary Book

WEDNESDAY

This day was spent recovering from yesterday's festivities. Poolside in the morning, a quick supermarket trip, dinner and games. Feeling pretty good as long as I don't over do it. The afternoons in Florida are usually punctuated with lightning and thunder storms. Just today we got a good wind storm also as the edges of Hurricane Arthur were off the coast.

THURSDAY

Our day started early as we piled into The three cars and drove west to the Everglades for our family's Christmas present to the rest of the family. It was an airboat tour in the Everglades all of us in one boat to see the wildlife.















Really really fun as we were wearing our family shirts. We got to see some alligators and learn the history of the Everglades.

We headed back to the house and ate lunch. Our night for dinner preparation was tonight. I am trying to conserve my energy. I focused my attentions to reading reviews for the best Italian restaurant in the area. Excellent- ordered 8 large pizzas and some side dishes and we made a salad. Couldn't be easier. Yum yum good pizza.

Another part of the evening responsibilities was to organize a game for the whole group. The only thing that seemed appropriate was to use the architecture of this 4 story house to our benefit. The two games included making the best paper airplane and paper helicopter and launching them from the 3rd floor and make it land on the wine cellar floor at the bottom of the house. It was an exciting event and we all got exercise walking up the stairs and launching our planes.

FRIDAY -4th of July Happy Independence Day.

In the USA, the festivities start in the late afternoon so we have time for daytime activities. Our family got in the car and headed for Hollywood Beach, the best Florida beach it was a fun way to spend the afternoon.

We got back and dinner preparations were already full speed ahead. Dinner was hosted by my parents are we were done in time for the fireworks. We went up to thereof terrace and watched in a 360 degrees view all around us the spectacular fireworks show.

SATURDAY

Awake and a big bacon and pancakes breakfast hits the spot. The cousins are having. Great time together. The weather has been hit or miss each day. sun, a little clouds, rain, lightning and thunder and then sun again while all the time being hot, hot, hot. (Unless of course you are inside in the air conditioning...)

Tonight is our last night here all together. It has been fun. We ended the week with turning the lights out and playing a big game of hide and seek.

LOVED. FAMILY. SUN. ALLIGATORS. COUSINS. 50 YEARS. EVERGLADES.

Road Trip

2014.06.29
SATURDAY and SUNDAY

We got up early and I was pleased because we had prepared well the night before so departure was nearly painless. We left a little bit after 8 am and headed toward South Carolina on our first stop at my godmother's house for lunch. The ride down was exciting as my sister had tasked us with taking pictures and videos in a scavenger hunt that would be done by all of our families.

The scavenger hunt list had many funny items on it and we completed almost all of them with bravado. I washed the windshield of a stranger, Marcus bought a doughnut for a stranger, we got a stranger to do the chicken dance with us and filmed it. It made the trip go a little faster....

We arrived at my Terry's house just in time for lunch. It was great to see Terry, Charlie and Connie. Lunch was great. It had been a long time since we had seen each other and it was great to catch up. THANKS.

My Godmother Terry

After a couple of hours and plenty of laughing it was time for us to continue on our way. Next stop was St. Augustine, Florida. USA's oldest city and also home to the Fountain of Youth. It was great to be just the 5 of us for this trip down. Things were back to normal with the kids fighting in the backseat and me having to turn around and threaten to take away their electronic items.......

We arrived kind of late after driving 4 hours and taking a dinner break. We stayed in a great hotel which has a lot of history too. Very cool hotel called the Casa Monica in St. Augustine.

Breakfast in the morning and then we headed to the Fountain of Youth park for the morning activity. We drank from the fountain, saw a old times weapon demonstration and learned a bunch of cool things about how Ponce de Leon navigated and made his way to St. Augustine way back when.......

A pleasant morning and it was time for the final leg of the journey. More items to be completed on our scavenger list on the way. That was fun. We are sure we are going to win. 

We arrived to the Middle River Manor which is a huge house for the 22 of us to stay in this week to celebrate my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. It will be fun and exciting. 

I am tired but will do my best to rest and still not miss any fun. These side effects to the cancer treatment are a bit exacerbated in this heat but lucky we have air conditioning........

We laughed around the dinner table as all of us ate good food, drank good wine and told good stories from when we were young.

FAMILY. COUSINS. POOL. LOVED. GRATEFUL.